


secrets secrets are no fun

by sebastian2017



Series: Hawkdevil [5]
Category: Daredevil (Comics), Daredevil (TV), Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Clint is a Good Boyfriend, Identity Issues, Identity Reveal, Legal Drama, M/M, Matt Murdock Needs a Hug, Matt's tangled web of lies falls apart, POV Matt Murdock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:08:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24042598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebastian2017/pseuds/sebastian2017
Summary: Matt's secret identity is revealed to New York. If that's not bad enough, all of New York knows his love life now as well. Personal drama aside, the trouble this gets him into with the New York Bar Association is enough to make Matt want to hide away forever. It's a good thing he has his human disaster of a boyfriend Clint to help him get through it.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Matt Murdock
Series: Hawkdevil [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1614460
Comments: 3
Kudos: 97





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> loosely inspired (in terms of secret identity) by the square "And I am Iron Man" in my MCU Rarepairs Bingo card
> 
> I've had this fic done and in my writing folder for an embarrassingly long time and just forgot to put it up because lockdown has made us all lose track of time. Oops?
> 
> cw: invasion of privacy

Matt's secret identity has been one of New York's worst kept secrets for a long while. He'd been frustrated about it for a while, but he'd come to accept it. He'd made jokes about it even, with all those terrible joke t-shirts and sly winks at office parties. The rumors were just that. Rumors. No matter how hard someone tried to get him to admit to it, Matt's spent far too long working in law to incriminate himself when there's no proper evidence out in the world. He'd enjoyed it all, in a strange way. It was like a happy medium between having his identity publicly known and losing all his privacy and doing all his work without any recognition. Matt fights for Hell's Kitchen because it's the right thing to do, not for the glory, but he has to admit it's nice to get the occasional free coffee or thank you from a stranger on the street. 

It's not quite as fun when he gets unmasked by an enemy in front of a dozen camera phones and has his face plastered on every tabloid imaginable. No more plausible deniability. Suddenly, his 'Not Daredevil' shirt that he used to wear to parties doesn't seem as funny. And suddenly, Matt's not sure whether he made the right choice becoming a vigilante in the first place. 

The doubt and hesitation only lasts for a few minutes, before he remembers why he started in the first place and that he most definitely wouldn't have been able to live with himself if he'd simply done nothing, but it's still there for those few minutes, which says a lot about his current situation and how hopeless it all feels. Foggy texts him to promise that he'll stand by him as both friend and business partner, while everyone else he's ever worked with in law comes out of the wood works to text and leave messages asking if he's going to keep practicing and if he thinks he might be disbarred over this. It's not at all the sort of message that Matt wants to receive when he's busy simply handling how jarring this event is on its own, but it's a valid concern. It hadn't been his main motivation in keeping his identity a secret, but he's also not a fool. He knows that the work he does at night presents a rather obvious conflict of interest in his work during the day. The old classmates or one time colleagues he has no problem ignoring. Foggy, he knows he should probably reply to. But instead, he ignores Foggy's messages, too, and just texts Clint. 

It's not a long message, just 'You home?', because right now, he doesn't want to be alone and he's not sure there's anyone else in the world who'll understand how he feels as well as Clint will. Clint replies within a few minutes, with a voice message because he's as considerate as ever, promising that he'll be in his apartment all day and that he'll order enough food from their favorite take out place that they can camp out in the building for as long as it takes the New York press to calm down about this or find some other superhero related scandal to cover. Matt's sure it'll feel like forever, but happen within the next week or so. There's always something going on with the city's heroes. 

For now, though, everyone just wants to hear about Matt and Daredevil. When he leaves his apartment to get to Clint's, there's a small horde of reporters gathered around the front entrance who go nuts as soon as they spot him. Matt is glad he can't see, because judging from all the cameras he can hear, he'd be blinded by the flash going off anyway. He has to muscle his way through them to get to a cab, ignoring all the questions they shout as they walk by. 

"Is it true you're not really blind?" 

"Daredevil, care to comment on the rumors you'll be disbarred?" 

"Some are saying your clients will all have to be retried, any comment, Mr. Murdock?" 

"Why did you lie to the city, Daredevil?" 

Matt does a perfectly good job ignoring them all, reminding himself of when he was a child and neighborhood kids would shout taunts at him, and climbs into the cab. He much prefers taking public transportation, as does his bank account, but there's no way he's going to brave all the crowds staring at him or asking him questions on the train. Besides, this way is faster, and Matt immediately feels relieved when it pulls up to Clint's building. He pays, or at least tries to before the cabbie insists rides are free for the vigilante keeping their neighborhood safe, and then goes to let himself into the building with the spare key Clint had given him a few weeks back. There isn't a horde of reporters waiting here, blessedly so. They'd probably gone to wait by Avengers towers. Matt doesn't fool himself into thinking that they won't make their way here eventually, but at least his arrival is peaceful. 

Clint meets him at the bottom of the stairs, along with Lucky. Matt's never been a huge fan of dogs and Lucky is a stereotypical mutt in the worst of ways, but he's grown a little fond of Lucky. Especially now, after a rough morning, he can appreciate Lucky's neverending energy and good spirits. He doesn't even mind the stench of dog as he leans down to give Lucky the scratch behind the ears he's begging for. 

"It's good to see you too, Lucky," he murmurs, patting him between the ears. 

"Oh, I see how it is. Lucky gets a hello before I do, huh? I guess I need to be fluffy and have a tail to be your favorite," Clint says, letting out a pitiful sigh. 

Matt laughs, which surprises him, because he feels like there's nothing funny about the world right now, But Clint's always had an uncanny ability to make even the worst of situations seem survivable. "I only say hi to Lucky first because if I don't, he starts whining and it's rather pathetic. I'm trying to preserve his dignity." 

"I'll gladly throw my dignity out the window for Matt cuddles," Clint threatens. "Don't think I'm above that." 

"Don't worry Clint, I would never think that you care about your dignity," Matt promises. 

Clint grumbles good naturedly as he goes to open his front door and let Matt in. The apartment smells like Thai take out, as promised, and from the smell of it, just as much as Clint had promised. They're all set to camp out here for a few days, which would normally be the sort of thing Matt would be very happy to do. If only it could be under better circumstances. He hangs up his coat and goes to sit down, where he immediately gets a lap full of Lucky. A second later, Clint sits down next to him and Matt is pretty sure he would have had a lap full of Clint if Lucky hadn't been faster. 

"So, how have you been holding up? This is all... pretty rough to deal with, huh?" Clint says, which is the understatement of the century. 

"It's been a mess," he agrees. "It was funny back when I had plausible deniability, but now... Everything's a mess. Work, home, all my friends. It's just... this isn't what I wanted. Back when I first started, I just wanted to keep my neighborhood safe and help people and it's all just blown completely out of the water." 

"Yeah. It's not the same thing, I know, but I definitely didn't think my career would end up looking like this when I joined SHIELD. The Avengers have your back however you need it, I can promise you that. And Tony can throw a bunch of money at just about any problem," Clint offers. 

Matt laughs a bit. That's true and to be fair, most things could probably be fixed with Tony's money. But Matt still wishes none of this had happened in the first place. Tony's money can't do much about the absolute mess his work life will be now, nor can it do much about Matt feeling like his privacy has been violated. "Yeah... I know some people love the celebrity aspect that comes along with being a hero, but... I just want to go out, help people, then go back to my normal life. No need for all the glamour." 

"You're a good guy like that, Matt. It'll blow over eventually," Clint promises. Of course, Clint doesn't know much about the New York State Bar Association, so he probably can't really speak to whether things will completely blow over, but Matt appreciates the good spirits nonetheless. "Has Foggy been handling it okay?" 

Matt shrugs. "As well as can be expected, I suppose. I think the both of us knew it was bound to happen eventually. We weren't as well prepared as we could have been, but it was always in the back of our heads. Actually, Steve's probably the most nervous person so far. He's texted me a dozen times since the news broke." 

"Steve?" Clint repeats. "Aww, jeez. Want me to talk to him about it? He should leave you alone." 

"No, it's fine. He's just worried about Bucky. It's sweet, really." 

Matt had taken on the case to prove Bucky's brainwashing and subsequent innocence, meaning Steve had been absolutely terrified that any consequences Matt faces might end up with Bucky's ruling reversed. To be honest, it's probably a very fair concern. But Bucky had won over public opinion since then and most people now see him as the brave war hero who'd been a prisoner of war for decades and still went right back to the superhero business after recovering. No one would dare try to lock him up now. He'd told Steve as much, but he can tell he's still worried. Matt is a bit worried, too, but he's more worried about all the unknown, lower income clients he and Foggy have taken. They're exactly the sort of people some heartless DA would want to prey on now that Matt is vulnerable. 

He explains this to Clint while they talk, along with the scattered legally complicated ideas he has so far to try to keep them safe. Clint is sweet enough to listen to it all and nod along, even though Matt knows he doesn't understand most of it. He doesn't have to. It's just nice to have someone here to listen and be a living soundboard to bounce his ideas off on. Clint's even learning all the right moments to make little affirmative noises, so it almost feels like discussing case studies with an old classmate. 

After a while, though, Clint stands up and takes Matt's hands in his to shush him. "Matt, babe, trust me, I get why you're trying to solve all of this in the next hour and I get why it's probably going to be hard not to think about it, but... maybe we should take our minds off this for a while? As much as we'd like to, we probably won't figure this all out so quickly. Might as well give it a rest, give Tony's lawyers a chance to do the thinking for a bit, and just distract yourself for a bit?" 

Matt sighs. Clint's right, he knows, but he can't imagine not thinking about this right now. "I guess. It's just a lot to ignore. Especially considering I can't even be in my own house because of this whole thing." 

"I know. And it's not fair, but we'll figure it out," Clint promises. "Between us and the team handling the superhero stuff and you and Foggy handling the law stuff, we'll figure it all out. You'll see." 

"You're right. We'll figure it out. For now... How about digging into that takeout?" Matt suggests. Not because he's particularly hungry but because it'll at least give him something to do. 

Clint goes to get two plates for them and, by consequence, Lucky gets some food as well, which suits the three of them just fine. By early afternoon, there's a small horde of reporters outside Clint's apartment just like there'd been on his own and Matt's doubly frustrated, but at least here he has good company. 

*****

If Matt could have his way, he would have stayed pent up in Clint's apartment for however long it takes for the commotion to die down. Unfortunately, his time isn't necessarily his own anymore. Not while he still works with the Avengers. Especially not when he's dating one of the fulltime Avengers. Matt isn't at all surprised when he and Clint are called in for an emergency meeting at Avengers Tower, even if he is annoyed. 

They get picked up in one of the SHIELD cars and escorted from the front door to the backseat, something the reporters go absolutely wild over. They yell their questions at them as they walk by, but Matt ignores them just as he had before. It's not all that different from when he's representing an unpopular client and gets bombarded with questions outside the courthouse. If he tries, he can almost pretend that's what's happening and it's not so bad. 

Clint is a little more startled by the whole thing, judging from his pulse, but he manages it just fine and it only takes a few seconds to be in the backseat of the car, away from the screaming and questioning. When the door is closed, Clint lets out a long breath and leans back against the seat. 

"You've got them all riled up, Matt," he notes. 

"Yeah, well... There's few things the city loves more than finding out heroes' secret identities. It's not enough that we keep the city safe, we need to provide it with entertainment as well," Matt grumbles, annoyed by the whole thing. 

If he wants to go save the city and keep the rest of his life private, he should be able to. He supposes he can understand the concern of a possible conflict of interest with his clients, but he's always been careful in that regard and besides, he's sure the people causing this commotion don't give a damn about the law or conflict of interests. They just enjoy it when their heroes act like reality television in their down time. Matt doesn't want that. He wants to protect his neighborhood by night in one way then protect its inhabitants by day in another way and not have the two lives interact more than necessary. But it's clearly not his choice. 

"I know, babe. We'll figure out all the legal parts and as for the media, it'll die down. I give it three days at most before Johnny Storm gets spotted with a new girl on his arm and everyone decides to focus on that instead," Clint encourages. 

Matt laughs, because yes, the news cycle does work a bit like that, especially around well known superheroes. Still, that day can't come quickly enough. "What do you suppose this meeting is about? More about legal liability or more about what happens when people do a little digging and find out we’re dating? And connect the dots that Hawkeye and Matt Murdock dating means Hawkeye and Daredevil are dating and have a whole lot more fun with that?" 

"Hmm. Knowing Steve, legal liability. Knowing Tony, probably the dating thing and all the rest of the shebang that comes along with a public identity. He'll probably want to know if you want your face plastered on children's toys or something," he explains. Distressingly, it doesn't seem that he's joking. 

"No thanks," he says, shaking his head quickly. "Are you on children's toys?" 

"Not nearly enough of them." Clint laughs. "Though to be fair, back when this started, no one asked for permission. We just started showing up everywhere all of a sudden. Tony has a whole legal department with our image now, so you're in good hands." 

"Right. Legal representation is definitely what I'm most in need of right now," Matt agrees, rolling his eyes. 

"Well... I figure maybe you'd want to worry about other things beyond just law and case building right now," Clint suggests. 

Really, Matt knows he's not going to be able to just hand all of this over to someone else. Even if Tony insists on these lawyers, Matt's just going to be hanging around, constantly looking over their shoulders and trying to put his own input. But that's a fight he'll pick with Tony later. "I suppose. I have an endless list of problems right now, so it seems." 

"Well... Can't be worse than facing down Bullseye with a broken leg and blood coming out one ear, right?" Clint asks, with his characteristic inappropriate humor. 

Matt, at least, barks out a laugh. "You might have a point there." 

When they arrive at the Tower, they're ushered in through the back entrance to avoid paparazzi and quickly led up to one of their conference rooms. When they go in, the core Avengers are all sitting there, gathered around with an empty spot at the head of the table for Matt to sit at. It all feels very official and he'll swear that he's gone into capital offence cases where everyone felt less nervous than in this room right now. Somehow, he feels calmer here, seeing everyone else working themselves up into a panic. Almost like the same spite that had driven him to become Daredevil, he feels a spite towards the world for putting him in this position and is determined to not let it get the better of him. 

Matt hasn't been to too many Avengers meetings, but the ones he'd been to had involved preliminary small talk and always an offer of some snacks or drinks before they get down to business. Today, though, the mood is rather subdued and Matt can practically smell the nerves coming off everyone in the room. Tony claps his hands together, a rather obnoxious sound that's probably supposed to mean the meeting's about to start. 

"So. We're in quite a pickle," Tony announces, because he's always a big fan of stating the obvious. 

"A pickle," Matt repeats. "That's one way of putting it." 

"Obviously, the team's never really had to deal with a secret identity outing before, since we're all known to the public anyway. Because of that... well, we were hoping you might lead the team through the fallout," Steve explains. 

If he's being completely honest with himself, there's definitely a part of Matt who, as a little boy, would have absolutely died from joy to think that he would one day be not only working with Captain America, but actually getting to lead him through something. (And to be honest, the fact that he's leading him in a metaphorical legal battle and not an actual battle field would have only made it better for little Matt.) Right now, though, Matt's just resentful that it had to happen like this. Couldn't he have been given some great excuse to lead the team without getting outed? Apparently not. 

"There's really no point in denying it now, is there?" Matt says, even though he knows perfectly well the answer to that question. 

"Considering there's footage of you going through all your battle moves and getting unmasked all in one single take? It probably wouldn't be very believable to deny it," Tony agrees. He shakes his head, which a chorus of Avengers proceed to tell Matt, despite him having assured them that he can tell when they nod and shake their heads. Tony continues, "But we could always try it. Claim it's a lie interrupting your business, run a libel case annoying enough that no paper in the country will want to run the story, and wait until it inevitably dies down. If you don’t want to, though, you’re in pretty good hands. I was kind of a trailblazer in the market on this whole no secret identity thing. ‘I am Iron Man’ and all that, if you’ll remember." 

"I'm not going to lie in court. Not when no one's going to believe it anyway," Matt insists. Half the trouble with all this is everyone thinking he'd been a dirty lawyer all along. He won't give them any reason to think it's more true. 

"All right, then. We won't deny it. It hasn't even been twenty-four hours, it's still early on. We can get ahead of the whole thing. Try to steer it all in the right direction," Tony says. He takes his StarkPad out of his bag and starts tapping away, which Matt can only imagine is a long series of messages to his PR people. "You got any dirty laundry we should know about? Because everyone's going to have a field day trying to figure out everything in Matt Murdock's life."

"You're talking about the guy who graduated top of his class from law school and went on to basically provide pro bono work to half of Hell's Kitchen and put Kingpin in jail. How much dirty laundry do you really expect to find there?" Clint asks, the tinge of defensiveness in his voice rather hard to miss, even for those in the room without super hearing. 

Matt pats him on the shoulder to calm him down once more. "You're sweet, getting riled up like that, but Tony's right. They'll go digging. And people like this have an uncanny ability to find the grittiest little details. Beyond the matters of how legal it was for me to work during all of this... I guess someone who goes deep might find my time with Elektra. That would be... very easy to manipulate and put in the worst way possible." 

"We'll get a team on that. And, with your boyfriend's blessing, anything else to look out for?" Tony asks. 

Matt sighs. Thinking back to every mistake he's made in his life is a decidedly unpleasant, especially when he knows he tends to be his harshest critic and he might end up bringing something to light that would have never been looked into anyway. "I need to think about it for a few hours," he says finally. "I can meet with your PR and Legal Departments myself. I'll reach out to them for a meeting. Was there anything else or can Clint and I head back home again?" 

"About that..." Steve says. His tone has Matt immediately on edge because there's nothing at all he could be saying that's good if it starts so hesitantly. "We were thinking you should stay here for now. Until things calm down a bit more. It'll probably be safer than your apartment and it'll make it easier for all of us to keep track of everything." 

If Matt could have picked out one thing that would be the worst possible alternative in this whole thing, it would be being kept away from his home. Having to stay at Clint's place was bad enough already, made slightly better by it being Clint. Staying here at Avengers Tower pretty much against his will? Not fun at all. But Matt knows he won't win this argument, nor does he really have it in him to argue. So he just sighs and gathers up his things to go head to one of the guest floors at the Tower. The Murdock stubborness is already a thing of legend, even among the Avengers, so they don't bother asking him to stay, while Clint lingers behind to work out the finer details of things like getting his belongings moved here and making sure Foggy and Karen are kept safe from all this. It's one of those moments where Matt very much feels love pounding away at his chest. 

This whole situation? Just about the worst thing Matt can imagine. But at least he still has Clint here through it. 


	2. Chapter 2

As it turns out, thinking at any point that things are just about as bad as they can be is a terrible idea no matter what. Because without fail, the world will take that as some sort of challenge to make things even worse. Really, Matt's not sure why he's even surprised to wake up in the morning and find that the news of his identity hasn't calmed down at all, but instead, gained traction. And it's no longer just about his identity anymore. No, that was bad enough on its own. Matt wakes up the next morning to absolutely irksome news that someone had managed to search through the social media of everyone in his life and found out about him and Clint. 

What's better than waking up to a tabloid headline about his personal relationships? With a badly drawn cartoon displaying the two of them going at it on a rooftop, if Jarvis' audio description is to be believed. This definitely has 'legal repercussions' written all over it and Matt is furious that it's been published in the first place, that people really care about these sort of things, that anyone would bother digging through people's social media so deeply just for a headline. He's furious about a lot of things. Also, he really wishes he'd talked to Father Lamton about this before it had been splashed across a front page. Not that he thinks he's going to Hell for homosexual activity, but it would have made his next confession a little less awkward if Father Lamton had heard it from him and not a crude cartoon. 

Matt decides a situation like this warrants replacing his normal morning coffee with the overcaffeinated swill Clint drinks and goes down to the communal floor, paper still in hand and with a scowl that would scare away anyone with half a brain. Luckily, none of the Avengers have much of a brain. He can practically hear all their winces as he goes to the coffee maker and starts a fresh pot. Clint's off in a corner, making frantic hand signals at Natasha, probably as unsure how to breach any of this as Matt is, only reacting in that endearingly stupid way he always does, instead of Matt and his temper. 

He's not surprised when Bucky's the one to approach him. Bucky's always seemed a bit fearless, even to Matt. He goes over to him and lays an earnest hand on his shoulder, looking Matt straight in the face even though he knows eye contact doesn't really matter at all to Matt. "Listen. If you want me and Steve to release a sex tape to distract the press, we're ready and willing." 

"Bucky!" Steve squeaks, rushing over to pull Bucky further away from Matt. "Sorry, Matt, you have our full support, but we are definitely  _ not  _ releasing a sex tape." 

"Trust me, I really don't want there to be a sex tape of the two of you out in the world because of me," Matt assures him. The scariest part, really, being that he's not even sure if Bucky had been joking or not. Probably not, judging by what Matt knows of Bucky so far. Better not to risk it. "Please don't release a sex tape. Tony, mind scheduling a meeting for me with your legal department? Because this is the sort of thing I won't let go unnoticed. It's one thing if they'd like to poke and prod at the things actually relevant to my life as Matt Murdock and Daredevil, but I won't let them think they can make a mockery of my private life." 

"Ooh, look at you. You've got that scary 'Matt Murdock has the devil in him' look everyone talks about," Tony notes. "I can probably get you a meeting before the end of the work day. I'll have Jarvis notify you up in your floor when it's time for the meeting." 

"Call me, instead. I have to go make some housecalls," Matt insists, heading towards the elevator and firmly ignoring Tony when he yells after him that Matt's not allowed to leave the building without Avengers and SHIELD authorization beforehand. 

Matt's never been much of a team player, after all. Wisely, no one on the team tries to chase after him. Well, Clint does, but he's probably also the only person in this group allowed to do that. Matt lingers just long enough on the elevator for Clint to join him. Partly because he feels a little bad about the nerves he can sense coming from Clint. Matt supposes he can see how it would be a little unnerving to have one's boyfriend storm into a room, clearly very upset over an article about their relationship. A little jarring at best. 

When the doors close again and it's just the two of them in the elevator once more, Matt can hear the way Clint shifts anxiously from foot to foot. Hoping to at least ease his worries somewhat, Matt points out, "I'm not upset with you, you know that, right?" 

Judging from Clint's sigh of relief, no. He hadn't known that. "Oh, good. I wasn't sure. I thought maybe you wanted to break up with me or something." 

"I'm upset that someone would publicize such personal information just to make a quick buck. But that's a problem I have with whoever decided to stalk through all our social media accounts, not you. Of course I don't want to break up with you," Matt assures him, pulling Clint a little closer so he can kiss his forehead. 

"All right, well..." Clint lets out another little sigh. "I just wanted to make sure. I thought maybe you were embarrassed to be with me or something like that." 

"You're the internationally recognized superhero, I'm the New York vigilante. I think if anyone should be embarrassed, it's you," Matt points out, laughing softly. 

"Eh, I think we're both kind of disaster superheroes, so... it all goes well together. As long as you're not embarrassed or anything," Clint says. 

"Don't worry, I couldn't be any prouder of my human disaster, archer of a boyfriend," Matt promises. 

The elevator dings as they get to the ground floor again and they have to once more start the adventure of fighting through photographers. They're only more excited now that Clint and Matt's relationship has gone public for a second time and Matt has very clearly spent the night with Clint here. Thankfully, Matt is as effective as ever at ignoring them and he simply keeps his head high and walks through the group straight to the car. If he was held back by people saying ridiculous things about him and asking offensive questions, he'd have been in trouble a long time ago, what with having been the blind kid with super hearing who could overhear every silly thing said about him. 

Clint does well, too, now that he knows to expect them. Probably from the many years of spy training. Also, probably, because he doesn't seem to care too much about anything. He's upset on Matt's behalf, of course, but Clint's always been more public about his superhero life and his personal life than Matt. This is almost business as usual for an Avenger. 

"So... Where are we headed?" Clint asks, leaning closer to the mini bar to pour them both a drink. And Matt even accepts it, because yes, this is definitely the sort of day that merits drinking before noon. 

"I want to visit Foggy and Karen, make sure things are all right with them, and make sure we're all on the same page as far as not talking to the press. Foggy and I need to talk about some legal details, as well, seeing as I'll likely be disbarred soon," Matt explains. Then pauses to sigh and take a long drink, because oh boy. That's another hurdle to cross. "And then I'd like to stop and chat with Father Lamton in person about all of this. I'm sure he had quite the shock waking up to all these headlines." 

"Oh boy. Is, uh, is your priest going to hate me? For condemning you to hell and whatnot?" Clint asks. He winces so deeply, Matt's radar picks up on it without any trouble at all. 

Matt snorts softly and shakes his head. "No. He's a nice man. Very progressive. I'm sure he'll give us both a scolding for going out and putting ourselves in danger with the superhero business, but he won't make an issue about the whole... homosexual activity thing." 

"Right. Well. Just in case, let's not mention that I'm a protestant, okay?" Clint insists, clearly teasing now, which is a welcome change. 

It's a calm ride to Foggy's apartment, much calmer than it would have been if they'd walked or taken public transportation. Matt's glad to see there aren't any photographers here where Foggy lives. Whether it's because they hadn't connected the dots or because even vultures have limits, Matt's going to enjoy his small victories where they come. 

He'd texted Karen ahead of time, asking her to meet them here, and when he and Clint go up, she's already stress-making coffee in the kitchen, just like back at the office. Matt feels a strange wave of instant comfort to walk into such a familiar scene. He gets the sense for the first time in all of this that things really will work out. It's definitely a silly thing and it's nothing more than a gut feeling, but Matt will accept any sort of comfort he can get right now. Including the way Foggy immediately goes to pull him into a hug, despite the overwhelming smell of every artificially flavored, horribly unhealthy snack Foggy's eaten in the last two days. 

"Hey, buddy. How you holding up with all this? Kind of crazy, huh?" he asks, which is definitely the understatement of the century. 

Matt nods. He leans his cane up next to the front door and goes to sit on the couch. "That's definitely one way to put it. I can't believe it's only been a day or so since the news broke. It feels like I've been at it for weeks." 

"Yeah, I bet. I tried to stop by the office to pick up some files and it was like a circus out there," Foggy agrees. "I know you hate staying at the tower, but I think the Avengers made the right call on this one, buddy." 

"Thanks, Foggy, it's always nice to have some backup," Clint says. He's returned from the kitchen, where Karen had had enough foresight to make him his own separate pot of coffee, which he now cradles in his hands like a treasure. 

Foggy laughs. "Trust me, I remember how hard it can be to talk some sense into Matt. I figure you could use all the help you could get. Karen's good help, but she goes easy on him sometimes." 

"It's hard not to. Have you seen the kicked puppy look on his face? It feels cruel and unusual to gang up on him," Karen explains, going over to give Matt a greeting hug. 

Matt glares in the general direction of the three of them. Just his luck that his boyfriend and best friends' favorite hobby is ganging up together against him. "I came over for important reasons, you know. Not just so all of you could find new ways to make fun of me." 

"Aww, but you make it so easy," Clint complains, going over to kiss him on the cheek. And boy, he's lucky he's so cute, or Matt would have tossed him to the curb a long time ago. (Not really, he loves Clint far too much, but he'd like to pretend he's a little stronger than he is.) 

"You do make it easy, Matt. More people will start doing it once they're anesthetized to your constant kicked puppy kind of look," Foggy agrees. "Unfortunately, Clint, Matt and I really do have important things to talk about. How about a rain check on the joint teasing?" 

Clint agrees to that a little too quickly for Matt's comfort, though he's more than used to his boyfriend being ridiculous by now. He leaves Clint in the living room to chat with Karen, updating her on how things are looking over on the Avengers side of things, while he retreats into the guest bedroom to talk business with Foggy. Nothing is certain at this point and there's only so much they can plan for, particularly when so much will come down to who happens to review their cases and their licenses when the day comes, but Matt can't deny it makes him feel much, much better to at least be doing something instead of the many hours of just sitting around and waiting for things to calm down, like he'd been doing up until now. Matt might not be able to change too much in a few hours of running over possibilities and legal precedents with Foggy, but boy does it make him feel better to at least be doing something. 

****

In the end, there really is not much they can do. They plan as best they can, drafting up all their defences and, Matt's biggest priority, gathering up every shred of evidence they can find that Matt had kept Foggy very, very distant from his vigilante life and none of Matt's exploits had affected Foggy's work as a lawyer. He's sure plenty of people will think it's a convenient excuse, but Matt really had done his very best to make sure Foggy was as unaffected as possible by Matt's work. If it had been up to Matt, Foggy would have never found out Matt's secret identity in the first place. 

Foggy is relatively upbeat about it. He's not fooling himself into thinking they won't be affected by any of this or that there's a good chance they'll be able to keep their licenses when all is said and done, but he's not upset about any of it, either. He's shockingly calm about it, too. Maybe Foggy had expected this to happen a long time ago. Maybe he hadn't been operating with the same level of foolish optimism as Matt had, always just hoping he'd never have to worry about any of this in the first place. In retrospect, Matt's strategy wasn't very good and he's glad Foggy's here to handle some of the more practical aspects of all of this. Matt's just in charge of running around in spandex and making sure he doesn't die. 

By the time he and Clint leave back to the tower, reporters have gotten wind that he's here and Foggy's building is as surrounded as Matt's had been earlier. He apologizes profusely for that as he gathers his things up to leave, but Foggy doesn't seem too bothered by it. Honestly, he almost seems to think it's cool. Some sort of badge of honor he can brag about when things have calmed down again. Matt's sure he'll change his mind when he can't even make it out of his apartment in peace to run errands, but he'll let Foggy enjoy it for now. It's almost familiar to Matt now, even if it's only been a day or so. He heads out with his collar popped and his head down low and holds his hands out to make space for him and Clint to walk through as they go back to the car, steadfastly ignoring all the questions yelled in their direction. What he wouldn't give for some socialite to have a scandal tonight so all these reporters will have somewhere else to go. 

When they're finally in the back of the car, Clint lets out a long sigh and retrieves some beers from a secret compartment under the seats that should definitely not be storing beer. Matt stares him down dubiously. "Was it you or Tony who decided the car needed more alcohol than the minibar provides?" 

"It was a joint decision. Actually, even Steve pitched in with the idea, if you'll believe it. He has a beer compartment on his bikes, too," Clint tells him. 

Matt snorts. "I have no problem at all believing that. He's the one who lied to join the army and held an international fugitive in his apartment for months. I don't know how you all still think he's the good one of the group." 

"I guess," Clint admits begrudgingly. "But we need someone on the team to be the obnoxiously good and moral one. If not Cap, who?" 

"I'll do it. I'm about to be out of a job, anyway. Might as well become a permanent Avengers member to fill in as your moral compass," Matt jokes. 

Clint laughs halfheartedly. "Babe, as much as I love the thought of you joining the team permanently, I know you well enough to know that Funny Matt only comes out when he's also Seriously Depressed Matt. Wanna talk about it?" 

Matt would probably make more offence to that nickname, if he felt he had even a shred of dignity to stand on against it. He settles for a quick sigh and a disapproving stare. "You're hilarious. And no, I don't really want to talk about it right now. Foggy and I have done what we can and there's no point worrying about it until we actually face our ethical violation charges. Still, it's hard not to feel like there's a constant grey cloud hanging over me. Realistically, I know I'll be disbarred and I know I should just start planning for that, but... Growing up, I wanted to be a lawyer, not a superhero. Seems kind of odd I'd end up like this." 

"Y'know, for someone who doesn't want to talk about it, you're doing an awful lot of talking about it right now," Clint teases. Which is definitely not as gentle as he should probably be in this situation, but is so thoroughly Clint-like that it brings Matt some comfort that some things really won't change. "Being a full time superhero isn't so bad. And who knows, maybe whoever has to make a ruling on you two will be a secret Daredevil fan and bend the rules a little for you." 

"Sure, because lawyers are definitely known for their bending of rules," Matt says, though he's mostly just endeared by Clint's particular brand of optimism. "I suppose we'll have to see what ends up happening. I still have a valid license in California. Maybe I'll move back over there and start up a law firm. We can start up the West Coast Avengers again." 

It's a joke, but Matt's not sure Clint picks up on that. Instead, Clint just grins wide and opens up a second beer for Matt. "Yes! You know, I keep saying we should do that again. The weather's nicer down there anyway." 

Matt rolls his eyes, but accepts the beer and humors Clint with his idea for a bit longer. He doesn't want to leave New York, but it seems he might not have much of a choice soon. At least Clint is doing all right with the idea of their lives being turned upside down and come to think of it, isn't Foggy always talking about Nelson and Murdock going nationwide someday? This isn't quite the same as nationwide, but if the circumstances demand it...

Who knows? Maybe they really will end up in California. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was def inspired by the Daredevil run in California so there might be more Cali Hawkdevil coming your way!


End file.
